Influence is the art of winning people’s cooperation when you don’t have, or don’t want to use, the authority to make them do what you want them to do. It involves shaping the way people feel and think.
1. Make people feel understood.
Spend less time trying to make people understand what you want, and more time making them feel understood. If they trust you and feel that you care about them, they are much more likely to do what you need them to do.
2. Find common ground.
Show people how their needs, values, and dreams resonate with yours. To do so, you first have to understand their beliefs and concerns. See things from their point of view. Then show them how working in with you can help them get what they want.
3. Listen.
Listening is the best way to make people feel understood. Ask open-ended questions which invite people’s careful reflection and honesty. Try to understand what people are really saying, without getting caught up on the literal meaning of their words.
4. Care.
If you’re really empathetic and concerned about the people you want to win over, they’ll know it. And they’ll reciprocate. They’ll communicate more openly and listen more attentively.
5. Help people understand change is possible.
People often know that they need to change. Most won’t admit it.
You can help by showing them other ways.
But don’t just give them a solution. Offer them hope.
1. Make people feel understood.
Spend less time trying to make people understand what you want, and more time making them feel understood. If they trust you and feel that you care about them, they are much more likely to do what you need them to do.
2. Find common ground.
Show people how their needs, values, and dreams resonate with yours. To do so, you first have to understand their beliefs and concerns. See things from their point of view. Then show them how working in with you can help them get what they want.
3. Listen.
Listening is the best way to make people feel understood. Ask open-ended questions which invite people’s careful reflection and honesty. Try to understand what people are really saying, without getting caught up on the literal meaning of their words.
4. Care.
If you’re really empathetic and concerned about the people you want to win over, they’ll know it. And they’ll reciprocate. They’ll communicate more openly and listen more attentively.
5. Help people understand change is possible.
People often know that they need to change. Most won’t admit it.
You can help by showing them other ways.
But don’t just give them a solution. Offer them hope.
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